Monday, June 29, 2015

Life with Pets: Kitkat Fears the Bitsy

A few days after giving birth to six squeaky kittens, BITSY lies in the middle of the living room floor, taking a moment to herself from the endless mewing of newborns. She's been ever at the ready, poised to lick up poop, steal them back from either Juju or Three, or to nurse them, and dammit, she deserves a break every so often. Her ears perk up when she hears the kittens announce that again they are awake and again they are hungry. 

BITSY: (sighs) It never ends. I hate my life.

As Bitsy makes her way to the closet where her box of kittens awaits, ZOLA pokes her head out from the hallway and lets out a snort. BINA sticks her head out just underneath Zola's and chirps. JUJU walks by the two and looks down in both confusion and amusement. 

JUJU: What are you guys doing?
BINA: SHHHHHHHH?
ZOLA: We are investigating.

Checking his phone, Three obliviously strolls into the kitchen and away from the action. 

JUJU: Where's Kitkat?
BINA: Hiding?
ZOLA: Bitsy kicked her butt earlier.
JUJU: What?
THREE (OFF STAGE): Yeah, I was holding one of the kittens, and Kitkat happened to walk by just as Bitsy was coming to get it. It was not pretty.
JUJU: Bitsy!

Bitsy jumps out of the closet and stands confidently in front of Juju. Zola and Bina duck back into the hallway (off stage), leaving Juju flummoxed. 

BITSY: What.
JUJU: Did you attack Kitkat?
BITSY: Yes.
JUJU: Why?
BITSY: She was trying to eat my baby!
THREE (OFF STAGE): I was holding it while I was standing up! Unless Kitkat suddenly grows gravity boots on her paws, there's no way she could have gotten to your kitten.
BITSY: She is vicious!
THREE (OFF STAGE): She wasn't doing anything!
BITSY: You don't speak cat, human!
THREE: (poking his head in from the kitchen) Oh, so I'm "Human" now?
BITSY: Yes.

Three rolls his eyes and returns to the kitchen. The kittens begin to squeak again in the closet, and Bitsy shoots everyone a look, even at the nervous-looking Zola and Bina, who have both resumed their cautious positions mostly hidden in the hallway. 

BITSY: You woke them up again.
BINA: I haven't said anything?
ZOLA: Are they sad? Do they want kisses?

Bitsy returns to the closet to calm her kittens, and Juju takes a seat in one of the lawn chairs in the living room. Zola and Bina remain partially concealed, and KITKAT skulks past them, fear in her eyes. Juju spots her and sighs. 

JUJU: Kitkat, we put a litter box in the bedroom so you wouldn't have to sneak around like this.
KITKAT: SHHHHH! You will awake the demon!
JUJU: (sighs again) Okay, fine. (lowers her voice to a whisper) What's wrong with the other litter box?
KITKAT: It's not the one I like!
BINA: I like both litter boxes?
ZOLA: I like them, too. They have tasty treats.
JUJU: But this one requires that you be stealthy. And you, of all things, are not stealthy or graceful. Which is weird for a cat.
BINA: You fall down when you try to play with the shoe laces?
KITKAT: I AM A KILLING MACHINE, NOT A BALLERINA!

Kitkat immediately regrets raising her voice and lowers herself to the floor just as Bitsy suspiciously sticks her head out of the closet. Within a fraction of a second, she snarls and locks eyes with a terrified Kitkat.

BITSY: TYRANNICAL NOT-FRIEND.
KITKAT: I ... I-I ...
BITSY: (stepping out further) YOU WILL NOT COME NEAR MY BABIES. EVEN IF THEY ARE ANNOYING AND CUT INTO MY SLEEP TIME.
KITKAT: FLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Kitkat scampers back down the hallway, her tail poofy, and Bitsy huffs and refocuses back on her kittens. Both Zola and Bina are frozen in their places, unsure of what just occurred. It's one thing that Bitsy chased Kitkat away by hissing and swatting at her; it's a whole other story when only a look can send Kitkat running. Juju shakes her head and laughs. 

JUJU: What goes around comes around, Kitkat.

The End.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

I Just Discovered a Fear of Mine! And You Can, Too!

I had a dream a few weeks ago where I fell into the ocean and was surrounded by giant jellyfish, floating blobs of inevitable yet random death by stinging. I was caught in the waves and trying my best to avoid the tentacles, although who was I kidding? I am a land creature, ill-equipped to handle the density of water in any meaningful way, except to flail about fruitlessly. The dream came to a close just as the largest of the jellyfish rode a wave right into me, and I woke up in a cold sweat.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

The Pull List for June 24, 2015

Welcome to the final week of June! Sadly, this is also going to be the last Pull List. I've enjoyed doing this because, hey, comics are awesome, but there is so much going on in my life right now - trying to break into comics, writing a novel, Bitsy's kittens, working on the house, starting a business, doing challenges, etc. -  that this is just one extra thing that I can't continue to juggle. I may eventually bring it back in some capacity, but I'll probably just stick with doing reviews for the time being.

But anyway, on with this week!

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The Pull List for June 17, 2015

Shit, this week is shaping out to look like when I was working at the comic shop. However, a lot of what's coming out is on my Trades Only list, so it only looks long ... That is what I'm telling myself right now, anyway.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Life with Pets: Bitsy Is Preggo

JUJU sits on one of the lawn chairs that she and Three have inside their living room, seeing as they sold nearly all of their furniture a two years prior and they haven't had the chance to go pick up what little they do have, stored in a unit a few states away. ZOLA snores at Juju's feet as her human types on her computer, and THREE watches a documentary while propped up on a pair of pillows, with KITKAT curled up on the small of his back. 

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The Pull List for June 10, 2015

You know, getting back into the swing of things has been a lot easier than I thought it was going to be! It doesn't hurt that last week was such a tiny collection of comics, but hey, I take things as I get them. Sadly, Secret Wars is still going on (sigh), so I probably won't be posting a lot of Marvel books until that's over, and honestly, it's kind of a relief that I won't be spending as much money for next couple of months. Thanks, Marvel!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

My Pull List for June 3, 2015

Well, hello again! If you've been following my blog the past month or so, you'll know why I took such a long break from doing The Pull List, but I'm back, fresh off my Star Wars challenge and fully caught up on my comic reading ... for the most part. And if you've been reading my reviews since April, you are aware of my avoidance of almost all things Secret Wars, and hoo boy, am I glad that Convergence is over and done with.

Now, today is also the beginning of an all-new, all-improved version of The Pull List because, hey, when you don't work at a comic shop any longer, you have to be very selective of what you buy. Plus, this was starting to turn into something it's not, not to mention a lot of work, considering all the side projects I have going on right now (about some of which I will be posting later on this month). So instead of giving little mini-reviews of everything I'm definitely going to buy, I am going to pick two or three that I'm looking forward to reading, even if it would have been included in my Slightly Interesting pile. I'll still list the others I am reading - as well as the comics I've dropped, but I'll include an explanation there  - obviously, since this entire idea was intended to keep track of my comic book interests.

So here we go! Welcome to My Pull List.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

31 Day Star Wars Challenge, Day 31: What Would I Say to George Lucas?

Via FAE Magazine
Dear George,

Can I call you George? I mean, I feel like I should be able to, considering how long I have followed everything you've ever created ... which is pretty much for the last two and a half decades of my life.

Anyway, I know I've done a lot of bitching over the past thirty days, and quite frankly, I don't take any of it back. You have earned all of the criticism I've posited in each of my posts, but you're a goddamn adult and should be used to it by now. It's not as if you haven't heard what I've written before, and you've managed to do pretty well for yourself in spite of it. As a matter of fact, you've profited beyond what most people dream of, so I guess you're laughing all the way to the bank. And then to charity, because that's apparently how you roll.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

31 Day Star Wars Challenge, Day 30 Favorite Movie from the Entire Saga

Via Posters Grindhouse
I am one of thousands of people that say The Empire Strikes Back is their favorite of the entire series, and even my reasons are far from novel. The dialogue is on point, from "I know" to "I am not a committee," and the character development was delightful to watch, in particular Han's gradual adoption of a heroic persona that continued into Return of the JediESB doesn't necessarily have the emotional connection that I have with Day 5's Episode IV, but as a storyteller myself, it stands out as a bastion of greatness.

Friday, May 29, 2015

31 Day Star Wars Challenge, Day 29: Something I Wish Were Different

Via Talking Comic Books
There are so many things about the prequels that I dislike, many of which I've about during this month's challenge: too much CGI, a complete lack of character development, the nonsensical storyline ... This list really could go on forever, and now I find myself really wishing that the Belated Media's version of the prequels (the first two, at least - I'm waiting on the third installment) was the real deal. Sigh.

However, my biggest issue isn't even that Jar Jar Binks exists, although that is a close second. It's just another example of the beef I had with George Lucas shoehorning Threepio and Artoo into the narrative of the prequels. His attempt at courting familiarity by paying fan service just rubbed me the wrong way. Don't get me wrong; seeing popular characters is a great promotional tool, and when it's done well, it's awesome. But when you have to go back and "fix" your original creation so it can at least seem plausible? That's when it gets a little muddy.

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