Monday, February 20, 2012

I might be slightly crazy.

I have a thing: when I get restless or stressed, I turn into a homewrecking machine. Today and yesterday, I've been at home by myself, since Three had to work, and our abode looks like a tornado ran through it, decided it wasn't done, and came back through again. Three has actually said that he's surprised every day he comes home that I haven't turned the apartment upside down. Or set it on fire.

At first, I played jokey-offended because, really, this is just life with me. But when he set foot through the front door with a completely shocked and overwhelmed expression, I was a little on the side of upset. Firstly, I hadn't had access to a vacuum cleaner because ours decided it didn't want to suck anymore, and half of what I had wanted to accomplish was kind of hinged on the vacuuming: I can't really move furniture over carpet that is covered in cedar sprigs (holdover from our Christmas tree - don't ask). I just jumped from job to job, as I am wont to do, and things ended up a tad bit ... hectic-looking. We had to get out of the house - me because, hey, I was stir-crazy and him because he couldn't process all of the changes - so we went on a walk in the park.

Maybe it's the Sagittarius desire for change; I don't know. I also get my hair cut, or dye it, depending on whether or not I have control of a situation. Our life has been kind of insane lately, so of course, I chopped off all my hair and have been progressively altering the way our apartment looks. I read somewhere that people with my Sun sign have houses that are constantly in a state of "improvement." Looking back over the last 28 years, yeah, I'd have to agree with that assessment. Any room that I've lived in or apartment I've rented was never "as I wanted it." I was forever changing the location of my bed, the posters/wall art, where my books were, etc. It's also probably why I have such a hard time sending out any of my writing or artwork: "It's not 'done!'"

This can be paralyzing for me in a way. I'm a perfectionist, which can seem paradoxical to most of what I do, but I want everything to match up to the epic vision I had in the first place. I'm also easily distracted, too, which puts a damper on things. Kind of like my "progress" with the apartment: I know what I want to do, but I get bored quickly with the task at hand. As a matter of fact, I'm taking a break to write this, while juggling the reorganization and dismantling all of the rooms in the place, as well as balancing a article spiral and looking at studio apartment decorating advice. It's a fun place, my head.

While on our walk, Three expressed his need for a semblance of consistency. He understands the I can function in a state of chaos, and he can handle clutter. He can get used to that. But complete and utter anarchy? It kind of freaks him out. He also has a photographic memory, so when things are thrown out of whack, he might has well have just walked into a house that is not his. It wasn't a fight or anything but a mere explanation of psychology. And also how different we are.

So today is mainly about getting things somewhat organized. It's not perfect yet (I borrowed my mom's vacuum cleaner so yay) but I've been able to establish some kind of order. There's a spot in the kitchen where Three can cook, and our bed is in the living room*, where I can play video games at night and not feel like, well, I've slept on the floor. Portions of the carpet have been vacuumed, and I've done about 679136 loads of laundry (more like 2, but still).

I can only hope that I'll be able to do this in the new apartment. Sigh. Three married one weird lady.

* We're moving into a smaller apartment and I'm trying to make that process slightly easier by consolidating everything into one or two rooms. It's been ... interesting, although I love having the TV right in front of our bed. I don't even care that it doesn't match up with feng shui.
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