Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Things That Terrify Me

1) Reborn dolls. It's the dead eyes. And people - as in adults - collect them and, like, put them in bassinets and shit. JUST LOOK AT THESE THINGS. Tell me they are not eating your soul right now.

2) Falling down stairs. I actually imagine myself falling down the stairs each time I walk down a flight of them. I have no idea why. But every time I make a successful, non-falling down run? HUGE sigh of relief.

3) Lightning. It could strike ANYWHERE. You don't know.

4) Basements. If you've seen the first "Home Alone," you know what I'm talking about. I still have my dog come down to the basement of my parents' house, even during the day.

5) Flying cockroaches aka palmetto bugs. They are roaches. They fly. Enough said.

6) Any scene with excessive gore. However, I can handle in real life blood better than most doctors. Huh.

7) "Watership Down." If you've never seen the cartoon, count yourself lucky. You might never go to sleep again.

8) "Yo Gabba Gabba." Once when I was sick and at my parents' house, I turned on the TV and this acid trip they're calling a TV show starts yelling at me. I've never, ever wanted a rerun of Barney to show up as badly as I did that day.

9) Spiders. Oh, dear GOD. Even mentioning them makes me shudder.

10) Also, ticks. See above, re: spiders.

11) My husband leaving me. I cannot TELL you how many times I've had this nightmare. Three is very sweet after I wake up in tears, though.

12) Pictures/paintings of people - portraits, mainly. It's strange. I feel like they're watching me. When I was a young teenager, I had a hard time putting up posters of teen heart throbs out of Tiger Beat or whatever on my wall, because as soon as I'd want to put in my headphones and bounce around to music, I'd have to take them all down before commencing with the fun dancing. (I actually did do this so much that I finally thought, meh, fuck it, I'll just leave them down.)

Damnit, now I'm itching because I thought about ticks and spiders.

/runs away
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