Three: Hey, I'm going to change the tail light so we stop getting pulled over by cops!
Me: Wait wait wait! I want to give you a kiss before you go out there. Because ... a perilous WASPy ... place? And I may never see you again?
[start to kiss his cheek when I notice his entire face is dripping]
Me: The fuck? Why is your face wet?
Three: I rinsed it because it was oily.
Me: And you didn't think to just, you know, dry it off?
Three: It will dry eventually.
Me: ... Okay.