Anyway, I wanted to go ahead and get some images ready for the launch of the website that will go along with my stories (12/1 ZOMG*), and I figured, what the hell, I can create the pictures and not have to pay someone else to do it. Because I'm poor. And also because I'm kind of a raging control freak when it comes to my work. Now, I have a pretty good imagination and have a decent knowledge of how bodies are put together, but I wanted to get something concrete to look at, and at 2:14A, it's a little difficult to go find living people. So to the internet I went.
Finding images for men was pretty easy for the most part. Only one of my main male characters is white, so there was a plethora of options for him: plenty of poses, settings, and expressions. For the other male characters, it was a little harder (I want to get the ethnic part right here, guys, and that's another topic for another time), but still, the variety was there, at least when it came to positions.
I, however, was not as lucky with the women, most of whom are fighters of some kind (hand to hand demon slayer, captain of a ship, highly trained assassin, etc.). I was happy if I found an image that didn't have the woman looking like she wanted to bone whatever she could get her hands on, and that included her sword. Seriously, I counted no fewer than 15 pictures in three minutes of searching where a woman was licking her fucking sword**. LICKING. HER. SWORD. Because that's what you do?
|That's not dangerous at all. Also, impeccable eye makeup. For a Viking, I guess? |
|Armor? What's that? Arm or what? Shut up and look at my fantastic hair. Which can get in the way of fighting, but whatever, look at my fantastic hair.|
|I'm not even sure what's going on here. Is she shitting? Leaning over to grab something off screen? This was labeled as Asian Warrior but I'm a bit flummoxed as to how she is a warrior here. It's the boots?|
|What the shit is this? It's like Josephine Baker was given furry Uggs (without the soles) and dreadlocks. Also, of COURSE, there's the tits and ass pose. OF COURSE THERE IS.|
|You are not even Asian. You are Tom Cruise.|
Women (with guns, swords, or just standing there in camo for some reason) were paraded around, some with crimped hair**** and others with skimpy chain mail, posed like they were prepping for some LARP porn shoot.
Thankfully, my good friend Southpaw reminded me of blogs like Fuck Yeah Warrior Women, which kind of restored my faith in artists. Mostly. I mean, I don't ask for much. Just pictures of women fighters who aren't wearing pink boxing gloves, high heels, armor that only covers their nipples and crotches, and pounds of makeup. My character does not exist for you to wank off to, and by God, if she's going to be fighting demons, she's going to have decent clothing in which to do so.
|I can totally see this as Ren (it's actually the fabulously talented sanya's interpretation of Katniss from The Hunger Games). Except maybe not the bow. Ren's more of a cut-a-bitch kinda gal.|
Sigh, back to the internet. Oooooh, maybe I'll look at Xena pictures!
* And I'm doing it all myself, so you can't bitch at me because it doesn't look professional or whatever. I mean, I guess you can? But it would be fruitless. It'd be like making fun of me for not understanding a ridiculously complex physics equation, or me making fun of you because you thought I was referring to a video game franchise above.** Don't Google this. Why, do you ask? Porn. Unless you want to look at porn. Then, go ahead. Have fun. Lots of penises await you.
*** Which I did. Four images. FOUR. After six hours.
**** Crimped hair. Really, photographer/makeup artist/hairstylist? The girl was supposed to be a Scotsman (hahaha loosely based, as she wore a short Catholic school girl kilt) from, like, forever ago, and she had crimped hair. Sure, she did.