To be fair, though, Fancy is actually a good car. She's solidly built, has leather seats, and we don't get pulled over in Franklin anymore for the crime of driving while poor. But it just so happens that, during the years of 1998 and 1999, the powers that be at Ford Motor Company decided to be frugal. And by frugal, I mean cheapskates.
I'm not a car person and don't know the technical terms for everything, although being married to a Car Guy has taught me more, but here's the basic rundown. The intake manifold, in all the years except for 1998 and 1999, was made out of metal and was a durable piece of machinery. Then, some bright person in a board room was like, "We need to figure out how to cut some of the costs down on manufacturing," so another highly intelligent individual was like, "Oh, I know! We'll make the intake manifold out of plastic! That sounds like a great idea! Send it to the board." I also don't know anything about business.
Now, this may all sound good on paper, but it really doesn't make sense to me to use plastic in anything that is constantly under the pressure of extreme heat. And I'd be right because they actually issued a recall for these model years and replaced the entire manifold for every single town car.
Except ours. Because the previous owner just didn't do it for whatever reason.
|Fucking old people, not reading their mail.|
|Upon discovering this, I might have had some type of mental breakdown.|
It's almost as if the universe wants me to follow up on my threat to buy that pony I've always wanted.
* Pull-a-Part and their ilk are some of the best business ideas ever, although I find it slightly creepy to walk down the aisles and aisles of essentially car corpses. It kind of reminds me of a scene out of "The Brave Little Toaster."