Monday, October 14, 2013

MINORITIES!

As a person of color in the U.S., do you wake up in the morning, wondering what bit of injustice you should be irrationally mad about that day? Should you rant against appropriation of your culture at Halloween or go with the old standby of institutionalized racism? Are you put off more by the way your race is portrayed in the media or by how you are assumed to have a certain job because of your ethnic background? Do you bang your head against the wall when choosing between stop-and-frisk and voter registration laws?

Well, worry no more, our friendly non-white brethren! We are here to help! For only two installments of $29.95, you, too, can own a hardback copy of "Minorities: It's Only Important When White People Say It Is!"

Through comprehensive interviews with white people and extensive research into what white people think, we will ensure that your morning routine of being ridiculously irate can be narrowed down to one thing, and perhaps even completely eliminate any rage you might feel at any point in the day! There are even removable lists from the back pages that you can laminate and keep in your wallet or back pocket.

Helpful hints include: 
  • If it doesn't affect white people, it's not important! Ignore!
  • If in doubt whether or not something should be discussed in regards to race, ask the closest white person. They will undoubtedly be willing to help you with your conundrum. 
  • Talking about the privilege that white people are culturally given makes white people uncomfortable, so obviously, anything that touches on that subject shouldn't even be talked about. 
For a free chapter to see if "It's Only Important When White People Say It Is" is for you, just send an email to whitepeoplesolveracism@yourewelcome.com with "Free Chapter" in the subject line, because we all know you people of color like free things, amirite, or if you want to go ahead and start your journey now, email reverseracismistotallyathing@dontmakemefeelbad.com with "Order Now" in the subject line.

And that's not all! If you order the full book now, you'll also get a FREE poster of "The Help" and an "ethnic" CD of your choice*! 

Be sure to check out the rest of our series!
  • "Felons: Why You Should Be Punished Forever"
  • "LGBTQRSTV: Why So Many Acronyms and Why Do You Even WANT To Get Married?!"
  • "Women: You're Supposed to Be the Gentle Sex, So Act Like It! "
  • "The Poor: You Should Probably Forget Healthy Food and Just Buy Ramen Noodles and Also BOOTSTRAPS"

* We currently offer Motown, some Bollywood soundtracks, and New Age music. More to come!
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