Thursday, August 14, 2014

I Have the Worst Luck with Cars, Part XII: Seriously, Fuck All the Cars

This is me, flipping off the world.
I don't know why I'm surprised anymore that this sort of thing happens to vehicles I own. And yet, every single time, I'm all, "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED." However, I think I may have just reached the extent of my willingness to be optimistic when it comes to cars.

Yesterday, I got a call from Three while I was at work but wasn't able to answer it because CUSTOMERS. As soon as I could, though, I called him back, and he sounded ... flustered. At first, I thought it was because of his work; his boss has been kind of a dick lately, even going as far as threatening to move all the operations to Mexico because a machine he had the company buy was fifteen years old and had tons of problems - like, it exploded a few days ago and nearly sliced Three's thumb off last week - but that is obviously not his fault and why do people expect him to accomplish things when his employees can't resurrect a stupid machine ever? Yes, it's as ridiculous as it sounds. Anyway, this is our exchange:

THREE: (sighs) Well, the wheel fell off.
JUJU: What are you talking about?
THREE: Our car. What do you think I'm talking about?
JUJU: I'm just a little off kilter here. The wheel just ... fell off?
THREE: I was in the Kroger parking lot and the passenger side front wheel just detached from the frame and the car dropped.
JUJU: How??? Wait, are you okay?
THREE: Honestly, at this point, I'm just happy that the car waited to do this until after I got off the interstate.
JUJU: ... That is very true. So we now have no operable car?
THREE: It's still sitting in the Kroger parking lot because I didn't have enough money on me to tow it.
JUJU: Shit. Fuck all the cars.
THREE: Agreed.

So yeah, this car that we had such high hopes for is, in fact, a piece of absolute shit. We put a lot of money into this thing that is now just taking up space in a grocery store parking lot, and all I can really do is sit here and stare into space. Luckily, the bus is a fairly reliable form of transportation - when they aren't making up their own schedules - and I've already gotten plenty of offers from coworkers to take me home, but poor Three works across the river, a good thirty- to forty-five-minute drive away. Only one of his coworkers lives out this way, so what happens when that guy has to take a sick day or goes on vacation or finds another job or any other myriad of things?

I just have to make sure that I don't focus on that. Instead, I'm going to focus on trying to will hovercars into existence. Who's with me?
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