Friday, January 2, 2015

Life with Pets: Kitkat Is Born

It is October 2006 in Nashville, TN, and JUJU - pre-Three - is sitting on her bed in her one-bedroom apartment and reading whatever book she had checked out from the library that week. Let's say that it was one of the Robert Jordan Wheel of Time books, because she hadn't quite gotten pissed off enough at the author quite yet. DYNA, a small tabby whom Juju had adopted from the next door neighbor a few months before, is pregnant and, unbeknownst to her otherwise engaged owner/slave, is about to go into labor. For the past few weeks, Juju has set up a little den in the floor of her closet, complete with a comfortable bed and several tattered, yet clean blankets to serve as a delivery area for the single kitten that Dyna is carrying. Dyna, however, has other ideas.

DYNA: Hello, human. I see that you are occupied.
JUJU: Do you want to come up here? I can pick you up and put you on this pillow right here. 
DYNA: Nope, under the bed I go.
JUJU: ... Okay. (beat) You never do that.
DYNA: I have my reasons. Go back to reading. 

After a few minutes, Juju cocks her head a bit, hearing a slight grunting underneath her bed. 

JUJU: Dyna? Are you okay??
DYNA: Oh, you know, just giving birth. Like you do.
JUJU: OH. MY. GOD. CAT!!! I MADE A LITTLE PLACE FOR YOU! IT'S IN THE CLOSET. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

At this point, it is too late for Juju to do anything, so she stews on the top of the bed, grumbling various curses at the feline below her. 

JUJU: I cannot fucking believe this. Cat placenta. Probably poop, too. This is just fan-fucking-tastic. Crazy ass cat who simply cannot accept a kind gesture. That kitten better be the cutest thing on the goddamn planet. I'm gonna kill her. Oh, my GOD, I'm going to fucking kill her. 

After approximately fifteen minutes, it is silent underneath the bed, although Dyna can be heard purring loudly. (After all, she was named for a particular Harley-Davidson model, so it would only make sense that her purrs could be detected about three rooms over.) A tiny knot grows inside Juju's stomach. Was there a reason that Dyna was pregnant with only one kitten? Was it stillborn? Was there a tiny kitten corpse under Juju's bed?? Would Dyna eat it if that were the case??? Almost as if to answer her unspoken, if not macabre, questions, a single tiny plaintive mew, nearly inaudible, reaches Juju's ears. 

JUJU: (excited) Oh, my God, I'm so not mad anymore!

Juju leaps off of her bed and lies on the floor, desperately wanting to retrieve a flashlight so she can see the newborn. However, the light in the bedroom proves to be adequate as she spots a much calmer Dyna - this was a very high-strung cat who'd spent her first few months on this planet being abused - licking her BABY gently. Juju squeaks a bit but only draws an irritated glance from the new mother. She reaches her hand toward the pair slowly.

JUJU: Hey, Dyna. Can I pet the baby kitty?
DYNA: (squinting) I ... suppose. You do feed me. 

The kitten is still moist, but, as Juju notices in surprise, not covered in placenta or anything gross. All she can really see is a little black puff of fur, but as she lightly touches the kitten's head, its little pink mouth pops open and lets out another mew, this one much louder. Juju holds in another squeal and starts to tear up. 

JUJU: (whispering) Hi, little kitty! Welcome into the world! I will take care of you always. 

The End.
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