Wednesday, May 6, 2015

I Have the Worst Luck with Cars, Part XX: Goddammit ... And Then There Was Light?

You know our girl Fancy? The Countess of Monte Cristo? The Lincoln Town Car of Much Woes? There are so many posts about this car that it's just easier if you go back and read through my whole I Have the Worst Luck with Cars series; plus, ugh, I am sick of that car.

And why is this? Well, let me tell you.

She threw a fucking rod. Because of course she did.

Three was on his way home from work, and after stopping at the grocery store for some dairy-free nacho makings, and he heard a weird tapping noise that he just shrugged at because it's Fancy. It's one of those things that you just get used to. We change her oil every 2000 - 3000 miles, maintain what else we can, and spend most of our days hoping that the car will last another day. But that day? Suddenly, BAM. And then continuous banging as Three, embarrassed as hell, drove back to our house. Because you can't drive a car that loud through a residential area without feeling like everyone is glaring at you, unless that's your thing. He even called me on his way back out of frustration.
Me: Hello?
Three: (says something but I can't hear him over the noise)
Me: Are you driving in a washing machine on the rinse cycle? Jesus.
Three: I'm (bang) done with (boom) this car. (bangalang) We have to (bong) get a new (pop) one. 
That night - actually, right after we put our groceries in the kitchen - we took that final trip down to a dealership that was having a huge ass sale, cringing as we pulled into what would be Fancy's resting place. Well, until she was sent to auction to be sold for scrap, but I don't like to think about that. It's weird. Even though she gave us almost nothing but trouble, that car was the first car the HusFriend and I bought together, after our two Aveos went bye-bye. We put a lot of money and effort into keeping her road-worthy, and as of now, she's probably in a trash heap, stripped of parts, and/or at a Pull-A-Part. I can't say that I'm sad, but there are definitely strange emotions tied up into this.

But on a positive note - and hence, LIGHT - we were able to purchase a brand new Kia Forte, which we have lovingly named Fleur de la Car (you can give mad props to my lovely Mel for suggesting that to us). She is a manual stick shift, which both Three and I prefer, and gets awesome gas mileage (42 mpg highway, 34 mpg city). And because we are who we are, we have a full maintenance package that lasts the entire contract of the car (6 years), so even if we have problems (because hahaha who are we), she will get fixed and we'll have a rental car until we get her back.

So basically, I'm really hoping that, now that I have twenty of these, any further entry into I Have the Worst Luck with Cars will be reaped from the past (because yes, I have so many more). Fingers are fucking crossed, you guys.
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